He who seeketh, findeth

January 27, 2011

A glimpse of clarity

Filed under: Happiness,Thoughts and Reflections — Steve (Chessiq) @ 10:41 pm

Eleven days ago, I went to have my eyes examined. This is something I had been putting off for a couple of years because I “knew” my eyesight was great. Sometimes I would have headaches when I focused too much while working at a computer, sometimes I would not see clearly while driving at night, or in the rain, or in the snow… sometimes I had to shift so that light would come to my eyes at certain angles for me to make out whatever I was looking at, usually words on a sign post or distant magazine. Anyway, during the eye exam, I was given asked to read something, and I could not read, and we finally got “glasses” and I could read whatever I was not able to read before, but I was still not convinced. Towards the end of the exam, after my “specs” or “prescription” or whatever the final numbers that describe what you need to get, were found, the Doctor got me to try these “Terminator” glasses with my final number on them… She made me look at something and told me to read it to her. I did so really quick. I could see. Then she took off the glasses and all I could see was grayish white board! I could not believe it. I expressed my wonderment and she said that once I have my glasses, that’s how much better I will see (when driving – because driving was my main worry…) It was discovered that I am short-sighted.
Today, I went to get my glasses… and finally I was in my car to “test-drive” them. Oh my God! There is nothing that can express the difference between what I can see with the glasses and what I saw all along without the glasses! It’s amazing how far I can read, how much detail I can see on the road or in signs…
All along I thought I knew what was out there – that I saw it all – and that everybody saw it the same way. Now I see that other people see better than others. I knew I saw better than a few other people, but I didn’t know or understand how worse off they were – and when they put on glasses and said they could see, I thought they saw as well as I did, and yet they probably saw better than I did!
Now, onto the main topic… There are levels of seeing, understanding, purity, Holiness,… but I believe that it is hard to appreciate where you are, how far off you are, until you have experienced a significant (experiential) shift from one level to the next. Now I think I can see better with the glasses, but there is somebody who can see even much deeper, to the core of everything. In this case, I am imagining how God sees. That if you were walking with Him and you said I see a mountain. If you have super-sharp glasses or binoculars, you may see living things on the mountain, you may see movement, etc. When He says, “me, too” – He is not only seeing what you are seeing. He is probably seeing the compounds, elements that are making up the mountain, He is seeing how it came to be and where it is going, He is seeing how it fits into the ecosystem, and the Universe. He is seeing why it is there. He is also seeing through it. He is seeing how your memory will never be the same because you have added this experience of seeing the mountain, and may be how the mountain has been changed by your presence.
When I say, I believe God exists, I mean it – but my understanding of His presence is not the same as my wife’s or another strong believer or a prophet. The more time you spend and immerse yourself in something, the deeper your understanding gets, the clearer and truer your appreciation of what is.
I went to play Chess today after a long time… Now I can think of Chess GrandMasters… say, World Champions for example. When they are playing a weak player, or when they are analyzing a game, they are so sure of what they are seeing/thinking about. They see through the soul of the pieces, the core of the game. It is not just pushing wood.
Anyway, that is my glimpse of clarity. So, when the Lord calls and says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest”, what do we make of it? I posit that our response depends on how much we need the rest, and how much we appreciate/understand rest. Is this rest, where we will feel rested and be weary again upon being troubled? Is this rest that will last a week? Is this rest that will last a lifetime? Is this rest that once you experience it, you know what it is, and you can spread it? Your appreciation of sight depends on how clear you can see.

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