He who seeketh, findeth

August 27, 2007

Choosing not to love

Filed under: Reason for Breathing,Thoughts and Reflections — Steve (Chessiq) @ 7:00 am

You can choose not to love and at the same time not dislike or hate or cause pain to the subject/object. In a way, you would act as if something or somebody does not exist.

Why would you choose to do that?
For your own good.

For example, if you have cared for somebody for a long time, and it seems that your wants, needs, desires, expectations will not be met if you continue along that path. You have no reason to dislike the person, since he or she has done nothing wrong to you. However, for your own benefit, you may need to stop and change course. Choose not to love any more.

Another example, is work or play. I love Chess. It has taken loads of my time. There were times when I almost flunked in school because Chess came first, second, third, fourth and fifth. I am not sure where anything or anybody else came in. After Chess, there were Chess players, and then… may be family, other friends (non-Chess), and I was somewhere down the list! I should have chosen not to love this game so much (if not permanently, then at least temporarily, when life called).

How do you deal with the guilt, or other challenge, that dissuades you from the path of not loving? Just continue on the new path. If you stay on the new path long enough, it is going to be so hard to change highways.

What does it benefit you if you choose not to love any more?

– You gain self-esteem from doing something that you thought was impossible to do.
– You remove one of the negatives in your life… the frustrations and all that.
– If it’s a person you are dealing with, it may be that your absence or disappearance is what was needed for him/her to realize your worth.
– If it’s a thing, you may benefit from the controlled desire, the mitigated impulses.


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