I do not know what I was looking for… but in my searches, I ended up finding and reading the following article: The Lubavitcher Rebbe’s Diamonds, by Rabbi Dov Greenberg. It is one of the greatest pieces I have ever read about life. You can find it at http://www.israelnationalnews.com/Articles/Article.aspx/8087
Sometimes I have “insights” that are not fully formed, but I just want to write them down so that I don’t forget the ‘idea’. This is one of those times. I am just saying that what I am about to say may not make sense, not just because the reader has a different point of view, but because I have not clearly communicated my thoughts and impressions. Caveat lector!
I rarely think of my work as being related to spirituality. However, the past couple of days, several things have happened that have made me review or revisit how I look at Accounting. For example, there are times when a report or statement is one Cent off, and I cannot go forward without finding where that one Cent belongs. It is easy to “fix” things, but it cannot and should not be done, because: first, it is wrong, second, it just doesn’t work at times. For example, if you are paying $3 million and the report you printed out says you are paying $2,999,999.99, one may think that you can just give one of the payees 1 Cent. No, not really? If you overpay one of the people, they will come back and ask (may be), but surely if you underpay somebody, you might as well not do it in the first place. What if you narrow it down to a particular person? You see to whom the 1 cent needs to go, do you just throw it in there, on her account? Not really, it may belong to a particular invoice, or period (month, quarter, or year)… Things like this make accounting hell sometimes. You cannot check off something as okay (it foots) when it does not. You can bet on it that it will come back to bite you; well, most of the time. Most of the “checks and balances” that you find in life, have their source in Accounting. For example, if you make $1 million during the year, and you make this money from work, gifts, and businesses, you are expected to report that you made $1m to the tax authority. You may wonder, how would they know if you told them that you made only $0.9m? Well, for starters, your employer tells them how much they paid you. Second, the gift giver is supposed to report how much he has disposed of in gifts. Third, the people that made payments to you need to have backup for the claimed expenses, so there will be receipts with your tax id on it showing money flowing to you. Fourth, if you deposited any money in an interest-earning account, the bank has to report the interest that they paid you, and of course, the money you deposited will show. Last but not least, you cannot spend what you don’t have. By looking at your statements, the tax man can have a good idea of how much income you made. Of course, my list is not exhaustive, but it gives you an idea of how, given time, the tax man can figure out how much you made (or spent).
Accounting has another basic side to it, which may or may not be looked at as “checks and balances”, the double-entry system. For every transaction, there is a debit and credit to it. A simple example would be if you bought a one dollar pen for your business. This is an expense. Your cash would go down $1 (credit your books), your supplies (expense) would go up $1 (debit your books). At the end of the day, your debits and expenses should match.
One last point that I need to bring up, is budgets. It is hard to imagine a functioning business that does not have an accounting budget. This just shows you what you expect to make or spend for the year. The fun is in the details. But as the year goes, you periodically look at items in the budget and see if you are where you thought you would be at a certain point in time. If something is so below/over-budget, you investigate it before the year ends (well, usually).
Well, enough accounting. So I thought about that and I wondered if the principles of accounting are applicable to other non-monetary issues. For example, if somebody hurt my feelings, what would be the equivalent in accounting? If I sinned, what happens in Heaven that is similar to accounting? So here is what I thought of as a possibility.
Assume that we are dealing with Cash, and the normal (or good) balance is a debit. Let’s also assume that good acts are debits. Then if you help somebody out and you feel good and the other person is appreciative of your actions, and Heaven is also rejoicing, then:
Debits: your good account in your heart; the recipient’s view of you; your good accts book in Heaven.
Credits: effort needed to do the good act; the recipient “pay it forward” account; your sin book in Heaven(?).
Similarly, if you hurt somebody’s feelings intentionally for no good reason, you can make the necessary entries.
At the end of the day, how you feel, the financial health of the organization, you and your fellow men, will depend on how accurate and how good your books are. Just like in accounting for businesses, the accounting for both Heaven and Earth, doesn’t lie.
The closest I could come to relating the accounting budget to life in Heaven and on Earth, had to do with expectations and potential. I think that’s what an accounting budget does, it sets expectations for performance with the conviction or commitment that the organization has potential to live up to those expectations, whether it is to cut costs or increase revenues or both. So what are our expectations and potential. On the expectations side: we are expected to love our neighbor as we love ourselves, we are expected to work as if we are doing it unto the Lord, we are expected to discover what we are good at and devote it to the betterment of ourselves and of the human race, we are expected to discover our potential… It is not an exhaustive list. I presume that God and our fellow men, from their exposure and intimate knowledge of us, have a good idea of what we can do/be. That being the case, I do not think it is outrageous to think that each one of us has a budget of good works that we are expected to perform.
What if, in God’s budget, He saw that for the world to be a good place to live, I would have to help one person every day or every week. I would also have to give 20% of my income to my church, etc. If I help twice that number, and give less to the church, I am sure it may throw off the budget, but I cannot say by how much. It is not for me to know what the budget is. All I can do is my best. Just like at a company, the presidential team may have the budget, which the man in the warehouse does not know of. The man in the warehouse just has to do his best; make the best nuts and bolts for himself and the company.
If men can plan things with extraordinary precision, be it accountants, rocket scientists or Chess players, why would God do any less? Why wouldn’t God have a plan or budget for enough food or medication for everybody? Why wouldn’t God have enough leaders and doctors and followers and … for the world to function properly? I believe God has it all properly budgeted. It is just that we don’t take time to figure out what’s important and how best to allocate and manage the resources that we are. We are self-managing resources in God’s budget.
My car radio is messed up. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. It seems to be a small problem that I haven’t gotten around to have somebody look at. It worked consistently for about a week and then I get into my car, thinking that I would listen to NPR - and the things is dead. Then I remembered when I was in my early teens, one of my friends had a cassette player - Stereo, I guess - and it was/looked old - some knobs were broken etc. The way to get the cassette to play was to put a paper clip in this hole that used to house the aerial (antenna)! I wonder who figured that out. But that was the only way. That triggered a thought/idea: when things don’t work… what do people do? Ummmnnnn,… kick them! So banged the radio a couple of times - really hard - because I was kind of ticked off - well, just frustrated. And Lo! and behold! The CD that had been stuck in it weeks and months ago started playing - and we have lived happily ever since. I hope that will not become my solution to fixing things when they don’t work. I just thought I should share. 
Today at church, the sermon was about the God of new beginnings. One of the Readings was on the Prodigal Son, found in Luke 15. The lost are given a chance if they decide to go back to the Father. During the Sermon, the priest mentioned the politics of the Church in the selection of Pope John XXIII; he was selected as a “fill-in-Pope” because of his advanced age. The Cardinals were trying to avoid “controversial figures” among themselves; people who could bring drastic change to the Church. They reasoned that the old guy would hang around for a couple of years and then die without much “activity”. However, the old guy they went for is the one who brought about significant changes most of which arose from the Second Vatican Council. The priest mentioned that Pope John XXIII believed that each day was a new day, chance, opportunity, to make an impact, to live life fully.
I chose to look at how this homily can be applied to every day life:
1 - When you get up, you can look at your life the way Pope John XXIII looked at his life. It’s a new day. A new opportunity to make changes that can improve your life and/or the life of those you come in contact with. It may be something that you have been putting off for a while, like reconciling with an old foe, or cleaning your desk at home or work.
2 - I have always believed that love gets better the next time around. It’s just a personal belief. It helps me to handle break-ups better. It helps me to love the next person better. It helps me to let go of the past, and embrace the new situation and give it a chance. It helps me to accept people as they are. It is not a grass is greener on the other side attitude. It is just an attitude that you adopt when the grass on this side has disappeared. You don’t spend time going back to how ol’ grass tasted. This attitude can be applied to loss of a job. You can tell yourself that you will get a better one and work towards achieving that. You can apply it to a broken car/computer/etc… after you fix it, it drives/works better.
3 - There are times when you make a mistake or mistakes and you cannot see how God comes into the picture. (He is always in the picture, by the way.) So, you just need to look at whatever happened as a thing of the past. You are starting off anew; wiser, better informed, and determined to not repeat the mistake. You focus on how you want to live your life, henceforth.
The application comes from the fact that we are created in the image of God. If He can gives us a new beginning after we mess up, then we have the power to do the same. We can give ourselves a new beginning in the non-spiritual world.
Sometimes I take great customer service for granted. If it’s good, I think I deserve it or it’s why I am spending my money on whatever. If it’s bad, I get all riled up and try to make it known. Well, I used to be like that til a couple of months (or years?) ago, when I decided that if customer service was bad, I would tell the person that I didn’t appreciate what they were doing. If it was good or excellent, I would tell the person and also let his or her supervisor know that I am impressed. I have done it for reps who have waived a late fee, or given me a nice freebie or promo, or given me a good deal/discount, or given me helpful information, or was just nice to talk to on the phone even though nothing changed. I think it is a good thing to do. So today, I am thankful for the great customer service I have ever received in my life… I am thankful for the exceptional customer service I received this past weekend. It was so inspiring to me that I made a decision to provide excellent “service” to people in general… so help me, God!
Why reveal yourself to the world?
A couple of my friends have wondered why I blog, and why I write about my thoughts (and feelings) for the world to see. I am not sure if I have given a complete and satisfactory answer to them. I know that I have given them an honest answer/explanation. Most of the things I share, are inconsequential to me (and them). People will know something about me, my thoughts and reflections, and then what? I understand the fear of sharing your life with “strangers”, but I am not sure there is anything a stranger can do with the info I provide. So I have no fears or misgivings about my thoughts/life being out there, even though I am a private (and introverted) individual. The thing that made me start blogging is that I have all these ideas that come into my mind that I never really share with anyone. Some could be helpful, some are just interesting that they even crossed my mind, some is just knowledge that I may come back to later, and some of it is just a way for me to let out the pressure, emotions, feelings, ideas, etc. I could have made it all private, where nobody could see it, but that would mean things that can help somebody would be hoarded. I am not sure I want to keep information that is useful for the general populace to myself. A way to overcome that would be to have several blogs… private and public. Kinda a pain. But that’s what I am doing… I have a private journal/diary… online! and I have a public blog. I share some of my thoughts and feelings at this blog. But not nearly enough. There are things that I cannot write here at all. What are my fears, desires, deepest thoughts, memories, food for thought, reactions, etc. Those are things that I have determined, I cannot share with the public because they are so so so… private and personal to me. I have also determined they would do nobody good if they saw it. May be people could take advantage of me then. May be some would be mad that I thought this of them. etc. So what people see here is not all that I am. I am not sure it is possible to figure out a person even if you read their most private diaries or journals. You will have a very good idea, and then what?
Why go online?
I have been transforming to having most of my stuff online for a while. Leo, at zenhabits.net made me realize that this was the right thing to do. He had his own reasons for doing what he does. He didn’t mention journaling. He, however, mentioned things like saving his photos and (other) files online. Of course, you can make these public or private too. You just need to spend some time thinking things over and learning about the system and yourself to see what’s best for you. Anyway, why go online? Well, several reasons. It is portable, as long as you have Internet connection. Thus you don’t have to carry a ton of things around and worry about losing any of it etc. I think it is secure. You don’t have to worry about somebody finding your stuff if you don’t want them to. Well, for the most part! Hackers or system failures or whatever can end up making your info open to the public or you can even lose it all. But I would rather have a stranger read my info and not know what to do with it, that somebody whom I have considered a friend or best friend, do the same and use it against me or get hurt or ask me a million questions or misinterpret what I wrote 10 years ago. I don’t have to worry about where I kept my diary/journal at all or who has access to it. If somebody figures out my username and password, props to them!
Why keep a journal at all?
You can look it up online to see why it is important to keep a journal. For me, there are several reasons. First, I forget important things all the time. Sometimes people get hurt when I don’t remember stuff. Sometimes I just appear dumb. etc. Keeping a journal and reviewing it every so often, enables me to help my brain remember things that are important or interesting, that I would otherwise not remember. Second, it helps me keep track of my goals, thoughts, visions, etc. David Allen said it best in Getting Things Done: “There is no reason for you to have the same thought twice, unless you really like that thought”… (or something like that). I want to record things and free my mind for the next thought, idea, vision, emotion, etc. Third, I think that when I write, I feel better… I know myself better… I understand my life better… I guess because I have to explain things - for example, why I feel a certain way, instead of just accepting the final product/emotion/thought/decision. There are more reasons, but that’s all I can think of right now. Oh, well, one more reason…. What proof is there that I existed at one time? If I look back to my great grandpa… the only proof of his existence is my grandparents and my parents and me.. I guess. There is no other record for me to see them. No pictures, no journals, no stories that anyone can repeat to me or let me read/see; nothing to tell me that he even envisioned my presence some day… well, I don’t mean to set a high standard or judge them harshly. May be it is not even important! But I would like to leave some traces behind. My thoughts as to how I would want to raise my kids and why. Why I would like my kids and grandkids to have a better life than I did/do, and what I am doing about it. May be in the future, somebody will discover how xgq3445(&&(>> (I don’t know what they will call us at that time!) thought. I don’t know. I think, therefore I am. I write, I am.
I may change my mind about all this some day!
Little by little, we are say goodbye to things… kids going to school, siblings going away, relationships breaking, best friends moving on to better and greater things or not. It may even be something as “insignificant” as getting rid of a favorite chair and getting a new one. Goodbyes are not always bad. The void doesn’t always have to be filled. The void may be replaced or not. The future may be brighter. As you part with one thing, you embrace or reject the next.
If you are have said goodbye, or are saying goodbye, or will shortly say goodbye… and you are excited about the next thing, the video below will speak to you. If you are sad to let go, it will similarly speak to you. If you are just (neutral), it will still speak to you. Finally, if it doesn’t speak to you, you will still hear it speak!
Ladies and Gentlemen, it is my pleasure, to reintroduce to you… Mr. Paul Potts, doing: Time To Say Goodbye!
For the Original (Sarah Brightman and Andrea Bocelli) click here.
For the lyrics, click here.
For the video that made me shed a tear - my intro to Paul Potts, click here.
A couple of days ago, I celebrated my birthday. One of the things that I did was to go through all my pictures and to reflect on what I was thinking, feeling, experiencing, doing, etc around that time. Of course, part of the story is the girls I have gone out with! My thoughts were clean. What did I go through to get that girl? How did it start? What were the first few days like? What was our first … uhm, argument? What did I like about her? What did she say she liked about me? What didn’t I like about her? What didn’t she like about me? What were the good things about the relationship? What were the not-so-good things? When did I know that it would not work? How did it end? What were the fun things we did? How creative was I? How creative was she? How did she match up to my “perfect woman”, the dream girl from my childhood? How did this relationship impact my future relationship? and on and on. It was an enlightening experience. I have grown up quite a bit. I have learnt a lot about women. I am still learning. Hopefully I will get better, not perfect. I have stopped wanting to be perfect. I have stopped looking for a perfect woman. There is none. There shouldn’t be one. I have gotten rid of the “perfect girl” from my childhood.
So, what’s my response to the question: O Perfect Woman, Where Art Thou? Thou Existeth Not! I Seeketh Thee Not. Hence, I Shall Not Find Thee!
It must be liberating to love an imperfect person… with the knowledge that I am not perfect either.
I was thinking about how addictions come about and how friendship and love get lost. How do people who at one time were absolute best friends end up not talking at all or run out of things to talk about in seconds? I realized quickly that the process is usually deliberate - (deliberate as in “slow”, consistent chipping and eroding, the way the elements turn rock into sand and soil).
Addictions: I have read or heard that people get addicted to good or bad stuff by starting off with small steps and then repeating them over and over while gradually increasing the time or amount of exposure to the addictive thing.
Habits: I have read or heard that if you do something at least once a day for 21 days, it will becpme a habit. It may be harder and slower at the beginning, but with more practice and exposure, you become good at it, regardless of whether the habit is good or bad.
Love and friendship: This I have heard, read, seen and experienced. You start off by not liking something that your buddy has done or said and you extend it to the person. You may start off by not doing something small that you always do when things are okay: cook or write or call or smile or talk or … thus denying the person something that has been a given or constant when things are okay. Next time something happens that you don’t like, you will default to doing what you did the last time, only this time, the not talking or calling or smiling or … takes longer. May be an hour. Next time, may be half a day. Before you know it, a whole week has passed. Then the rationalization is something like, “I guess I have proved that I can live without him or her”, or “since I have made it so far, why should I go back to the old stuff?” etc.
The point of the foregoing is that as the bad stuff picks up, the good stuff slows down until it all disappears and all you have is the bad stuff. You remain with the anger, the silence, the loneliness, the fights, the detachment, etc. The love, the laughter, the dancing, the companionship, the trust, the warmth… is gone.
Unless what you really want is to get rid of the good stuff, you ought to make the extra effort to make the good stay or at least not slow down. When it is hardest to hold hands, may be hold hands at that time. When you feel like not calling is the solution, call (unless you have a very good reason not to). When you feel like not looking into the other person’s eyes, do it. It doesn’t matter whether you always start. When you don’t feel like giving it a chance, do so. Don’t wait. If you wait, you will get good at waiting and doing what you do while waiting, and the good stuff will disappear.
The greatest thing is that whatever you choose to do, you live with the consequences. “He who seeketh, findeth!”
If you were to live your life all over again, what would you change? The second richest man in the world, and the greatest investor who ever lived answers that question in the video below. Please click play and then drag the “VCR timer button” to 1:22:15 to hear what he says. When I first saw the video, I decided that I would never again, wish I was born a different person. Sometimes I fail and wish things were different, but all in all, I am happy with who I am… all things considered. I get back to this video when I feel down or I wish things were different or … if I can’t find things to be thankful for.
